This message comes to you directly from the department of "You CANNOT Make This Shit Up!"

My girlfriend, 3 of her family members, and myself were supposed to go to the beach yesterday. We didn't go.

I changed the plan so that we could go to the beach today. We didn't go... again.

Reason? My water pump has been broken since Friday. I can live without the pump for awhile... that's not the issue. I still have water. However, the pump is what keeps my 300-liter cistern full, and the pump is also what ramps the water pressure in my shower up to "Pressure Washer" intensity. Seriously, even with all 10 shower heads going, it hurts if you open the shower valves all the way.

All that aside, when the pump broke on Friday, it started leaking water slowly but steadily. It leaks even if I shut down the power completely. I have to empty the bucket that's catching the water every four hours, or there's a danger that the leaking water will enter the house, due to the location of the pump. It's not leaking a lot, but the space is so constricted that I can only fit a 2-gallon bucket and a couple of towels into the space.

The guy from the company that installed the system almost one year ago was here Saturday. He was here again yesterday... And... He's here again today. The conclusion seems to be that the top of the pump is fully exposed to the rain and sun, which, apparently, is a bad thing. The guy tells me all this, then he just kind of leans back... he's waiting for me to speak. I finally ask him, "What do you want me to say? You say it's too exposed to the rain and sun... YOU'RE the person who installed it, less than one year ago!" The guy then asks me what I want him to do... after he's spent three days staring at the pump. At this point, I'm just Floored. I answer him, "What do I want you to do? Seriously? I... Want... You... To... Fix... It! Why are you sitting on my sofa, when you should be on the roof fixing my pump... for the Third Day?!"

This kind of unbelievable stupidity is something I have always absolutely hated. It's not really a Tico thing, although I do seem to run into this kind of thing more often here than I did in the USA. Nevertheless, I must admit that all of the other guys who were involved in the construction of my house last year did very good work. Even the guy who built my shower did a great job, but this week's little crisis does remind me that even the shower guy could be as dumb as a rock sometimes.

I remember explaining to him, in person, and in intricate detail, what I expected for my shower. Everything was going well until it came time to install the tile walls, the next-to-last step in the construction of the shower, leaving only the installation of the shower doors after the tile was installed. The issue with the shower guy was that the installation of the tile shower walls required the construction of the two recessed shelves that I wanted in the shower, which would then be finished, along with the walls, with the tile. The guy seriously had no idea what I wanted. It was very simple... two cuboid (box-shaped) recessed shelves. I explained it to the guy in person and in full detail, again, while we were both standing inside the shower. I used gestures and everything while explaining it to him... yet again. After about 10 minutes, he smiled, nodded his head, and said, "Si! Si!" I went back to my apartment.

The next day, my girlfriend called me up at 10 a.m. She was in the house with the shower guy, and she told me that he still didn't understand what I wanted. I quickly drew this image on my computer and emailed it to her. I did it as a joke... No WAY could this guy Not understand something so simple...


I was wrong. It took more in-person explanations to get the guy to understand what I wanted. Unbelievable.


I had this problem with a driver about 2 months ago...

This map is almost exactly what I sent the driver, except that I have randomly changed the location of my house. I'm not posting the exact location of my house on the Internet... sorry...

The guy couldn't understand where I was. I even sent him this map via email. Why do professional drivers insist upon using their completely screwed-up system, when Google Maps and OpenStreetMap will both get you within inches of where you want to be? I sent him this map as a joke, but he Still didn't understand where I was...

google directions example.jpg