Just this morning... another encounter with the water/sugar/orange food coloring mixture that Ticos call "Orange Juice."

The guy poured it into my glass, when I wasn't looking. I took one sip and instantly said, "Ewwww! No Thanks!"

I then asked the guy for a Coca-Cola, and he decided that it was time to get in my face...


He: You don't want Orange Juice? You want Coca-Cola for breakfast?

Me: I would Love to have some Orange Juice, but you don't have it. I would like a Coke, please.

He: That is Orange Juice.

Me: No... It is Not. Bring me a Coke.


the guy "huffed" and walked away, then brought my Coke... but he couldn't let it go...


He: That is Orange Juice.

Me: Bring me the container from which you poured that Orange Juice... the actual container that was delivered to your restaurant by the truck... and I will show you a couple of things...


He did actually bring out the container, smiling proudly. That beautiful, glorious, ubiquitous Dos Pinos "juice" box.


He: See? It says "Orange Juice."

Me: Yep... It sure does. What else does it say? Let's take a look, shall we? Oh! Lookie Here! This box says, "de concentrado." Do you know what that means? Oh! And Lookie Here! This box also says "azucarado." Do you know what that means? Well... It means, "From Concentrate, and Sugar Added." In other words, this so-called "juice" was made from a frozen block of dehydrated orange juice which was rehydrated and then infused with a few spoonfuls of sugar. Now... would you like to take a look at the Back of the box? Sure you would! Let's see here... hmmm... "Ingredients"... It says...


WATER... CONCENTRATED ORANGE JUICE... SUGAR...


I handed the box back to the guy and said, "When the list of ingredients does Not read... "Water, Concentrated Orange Juice, Sugar"... but, instead... reads...

"Pure Fucking Orange Fucking Juice... Not Water... Not Sugar... Not Concentrated Orange Juice... Fucking Pure, Fresh Fucking Squeezed, Orange Fucking Juice"... Then... I would like a glass of Orange Juice.


It still completely amazes me that Costa Rica... Planet Earth's Garden of Eden... still serves TANG/Orange Drink to its own citizens.