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BashfulDwarf
08-03-2013, 12:08 PM
DAY 1:

Arrived at SJO on time, flying Jetblue. Smooth ride, no issues at customs, immigration. Once you collect your luggage, you must have it scanned by xray machines before you can exit the terminal. This leads to a long queue.

Sid met me just outside the doors, easily identified by his height. Good guy, took me to the car and walked me to the departure terminal to get my $29 exit stamp. The line was short, but I wanted to have it now in case I was running late on my exit day.

Rather than convert currency at the airport, Sid took me to Walmart instead. The rate was almost identical (I may have lost .002 per hundred), but the best thing about using Walmart was no line, and no questions. They want to see your passport, and that was it. I converted $500.

** Now, I’d like to briefly discuss a question that arises on the board: how much to convert, and how much to keep in dollars. I chose to split the cash, keeping large US bills to pay the independents, and Colones to pay for MPs and food. I will never do this again! This Trip Report was not posted here, but taken from a competing board. Just so you know. Now, back to my heisted narrative. I will convert 90% to Colones and keep a small US savings as backup. I found nothing that required (or even wanted) US dollars. All girls asked for Colones. They don’t want the hassle of exchanging bills any more than we do. I actually got stuck at one point in a taxi with nothing but $50 bill on me. Next time, I go all Colones.

One of Sid’s services is to give you a cell phone to use on the trip. It receives incoming for free, and he puts $5 on it for outgoing. However I learned later that my phone could not dial out, even to local numbers. This proved painful for me on my second day, and I never bothered to carry it after that.

Sid showed me the sites in the Gulch, but with few exceptions I cannot remember things from the seat of a car. I saw the DR, SL, and arrived at HLH (my hotel). I knew already from the map that the streets are laid out in Calles and Avenidas, and was comfortable with the compass directions. However, this messes me up later when it was overcast and I could not use the sun as a compass heading. (Next time, bring a small compass).

My first impression of HLH was that it was a dive! It’s not, but that was my first impression. I was expecting a ‘hotel’ feel. This place is the old Zona Blue, and is nothing like a hotel. That worked well for me actually, as it was always quiet and peaceful. I checked in at the front desk, and paid in US dollars (because that was what I was quoted). I used the discount card as well. I was put in room 25.

The room: DAMN! This is NOT a hotel! My room had a Queen size bed and a wood cabinet with 4 shelves. There was a small nightstand. That’s It! My room also had no window, so when the lights are out, you have no idea of whether the day has started or not. Did I tell you that it’s not a Hotel?
There was a huge mirror on the left side of the bed, and a full-length window into the shower stall (weird, but then again it’s not really a hotel). Outside of my room on the second floor is a sitting area with 3 chairs, a couch and a table. A great place to have a good chatter.

Before I proceed, let me say that I would stay here again. It was a good base of operations, and an easy taxi ride from SL and DR, without any of the hassle and noise of those two places. Yes, I know many swear by the SL and DR, but personally I like a quiet place to lay my head. The HLH was good for me. The main reason I chose it was for the free session promotion. I figured that cut the room rate in half. The problem with me was that I never used the session because (being my hotel) I left in the early morning and didn’t come back until evening. I would have liked a good f*ck in the morning, but talent doesn’t arrive until after 10, and I was out into the streets by then. So, if you intend to use the free session, and not wander all over creation as I did, the HLH is a good fit for you.

1pm. Once I unpacked and got the feel for the room, I decided to get on with my first day. Now, as a newbie, I was really looking for someone to hold my hand and get me adjusted to the environment. I had planned to meet up with Ricin at the bar, in the early afternoon. He was at the end of his trip, and was going to give me his feel for everything. I walked down to the lobby and proceeded back towards the bar. Ok, as you pass the doorframe you enter the old Zona Blue showcase room. Its now an empty room where the girls sit to eat their lunch. At this time of the day, there were at least 6 of them there eating. I hadn’t expected to turn a corner and see a table full of hookers slogging away, and I hurredly passed, ignoring their many ‘Hola’ calls to me. I went up the steps to the bar, wondering how I was going to know Ricin if I found him. A curious nickname, if I might add. One can hardly be expected to walk into a room and shout out “I am looking for Ricin!”, or “Can someone tell me where to find Ricin”. I’d have been shot on sight in the US. I chose to sit at the bar (trying to ignore the girls sitting behind me across from the bar). I wasn’t ready to meet any chicas yet … I desperately needed to chill out and talk to Ricin.

The Bar: the bar is small, but a cozy atmosphere to chat up a chica. There are tables down the end of the bar too. Karla was working the bar, and a very cool person. Excellent English. I order a couple of beers waiting for Ricin. He never showed.

2pm. Eventually I got bored, and was unnerved with the girls sitting behind me. I needed to meet a wingman to calm me down. I was not ready to take on a negotiation … I simply wasn’t sure what to do. So I decided to step outside for a bit. I was noticing my heart was thumping a bit harder than usual. I felt a bit labored in breathing. Dismissed it as the altitude (I’m a sea-level guy, this place is 3400 feet higher). Decided to walk my home-block a bit to get a feel for the area, in case I stumbled back drunk and got lost (which happened a few times). I decided to walk to SL, which is straight up Avenida 9. Straight UP is right … it’s only four blocks east, and about 300 feet higher … we’re talking about a 45 degree slope here. The walk winded me. I went inside (again not shouting for Ricin) and sat at the bar. I went through 2 more beers and decided to bail out again.

About SL: dull from the outside, but really nice inside. The front bar is d*ck-shaped, with a bulbous head facing the entrance. I preferred to sit down the shaft. Workers were awesome, but later on I found it very hard to get their attention during the rush times. Food was awesome … more later.

3pm. I left SL and made my way Southward. I wanted to make my way back to HLH, but not the direct route. I was also feeling more light-headed and wanted to be near my bed in case a dizzy spell came up (I get them often). (I found a great fruit/smoothie stand right around the corner from HLH, and I always start a morning there.) Once I got back, I went to my room and laid down for a bit.

5pm. I got up and went back to the bar, to see if Ricin was around. As soon as I sat at the bar, Karla popped open a beer for me. As I took a sip, it suddenly dawned on me that I had not eaten anything since 5AM, which was a single Krispy Kreme doughnut. I have had 4 or 5 beers on an empty stomach! I quickly ordered the chicken burrito (which was suggested to me by Netgems) – it was excellent. The hot sauce really brought out the flavor.
At the bar I met a fellow monger (forgot his handle, will call him BNE). At last I had someone to talk to, and lighten the tension I was under. (I ended up bumping into BNE every other day, and he always seemed to be where I needed someone. My trip would have been much less without him). I walked to SL with BNE, as he gave me the lay of the land. Once at SL, we sat at the bar, and he continued to enlighten me on aspects of the game that I already knew from the site. Somehow having a flesh and blood guy telling me this stuff which obviously worked for him, gave me the settled feeling I needed (along with 3 more beers). This is where I made my first newbie blunder.

BNE noticed a chica come in that he sessioned with last trip. He mentioned to me that if she saw him she would assume another session, and he was waiting until the evening. However, that bitch saw him and came in talons extended. It was a bloodbath and BNE never had a chance. She dragged him bleeding and gasping for breath into his room, leaving me at the bar alone (I am exaggerating – poetic license and all that). I walked out chuckling at BNE, and then all of a sudden realized that as his ‘Wingman’ I was supposed to defend him from the attack as he had specifically told me he was not interested. I let him down and felt it acutely.
6pm. Decided to walk through the DR, on the excuse that I was looking for a friend. Honestly I had little hope of meeting Ricin there, but I needed to see the interior and get mentally prepared for handling the place on my own. I walked straight inside and was very obvious to be looking for someone.

About DR: it is a large open area, segmented into 5 partitions. The northmost is a small bar with tables. The main entrance (facing west) is the lobby, with many tables situated near the northern bar. This is a good place to have private discussions with a chica, or to be obviously not interested in meeting one. In the center area is the casino, which is small and extends northward and bends 90 degree to the west (connecting to the northern bar). This is where the slot machines are located. Lots of girls sitting there doing nothing. On the back east wall is the raised bar Blue Marlin. It has a divider wall from the game area, which means it must be entered by the north or south openings. If you want to be mobbed by putas, sit there alone. If you exit the Blue Marlin area to the south, there is another smaller bar area with separate seating. I know of 3 entrances, 2 west ( northern bar and lobby) and 1 south. There are ropers at each doorway offering taxis, so you cannot avoid them.

I wandered every area, getting the feel and checking out the talent. I would put the ratio at 12:1 puta/guy at 6pm on a Tuesday. After making 2 full circuits, I felt I’d start attracting bad attention if I continued. I decided to go back to my hotel, as I was not feeling too well. Seems the hot sauce did not agree with the Imperials. To be honest, I was not having a very good first day.

It was getting dusk and I had been warned about the area at night. I arrived unmolested and went to my room to lie down.

8:30. I was fine again, and decided to stop hiding in my room and go experience the DR, even without a wingman. I hailed a cab and dropped off at the northern corner, near a restaurant called Chubbs. (Good menu, supposed to be gringo owned). I walked up to the DR, preparing myself. I decided to walk around to the southern doorway, and stopped outside to steel myself. I’m still feeling the hot sauce and the 8 or 9 beers I have so far consumed. Frankly, I wasn’t walking very straight either. While I was trying to look nonchalant, a tico walks up and asks if I’d like to buy some cocaine. No. How about pot? No. What about Viagra? Nope. Well, his name is X, and whatever I need, I should just look for him. I slapped him on the back and said “I’ll do that, X. Thanks”. I then walked to the west corner and as I turned the corner to head to the lobby, another tico tells me that he’ll sell me cocaine cheaper than X. Also, he’s got Opium and needles if I need. Now, it’s nice to know the locals have got your back if you need it, but this was a bit overwhelming for me, and I felt I’d be safer inside.

I was buzzing enough to decide that the direct approach to finding Ricin was the best. He had told me that his intention was to hit the DR on his last night. I promptly walked straight into the Lobby calling out “RICIN!” … I tripped over a small table in the lobby, went horizontal into the lap of some old geezer, righted myself acutely aware of every eye in the place looking at me. I shouted out again and walked/stumbled towards the gaming area. The place had filled up with guys, so the ratio had been reduced 6:1. Surprisingly most of the chicas gave me a wide berth. I attributed this to my general demeanor and the stumbling, rather than my boisterous shouting for wmd-grade chemical agents.

Eventually I headed up to the Blue Marlin, sitting on the north most edge. In case I was set upon by the circling sharks, I had prepared my excuse to be that I was looking for my friends, “busco a mis amigos”.

I was not there 30 seconds when the first wave came in. 2 chicas (they obviously work in pairs now). One sat down and said her name was “S”. She had a pretty face and the most hottest, biggest hazel eyes I ever saw. Because she sat down I could not see the full package, but I’d have done her in the face right then and there. He friend has more homely, but had a nice body. “S” spoke decent English and I explained that I was looking for friends, and wasn’t open to any discussion until I found them. I sent them off with the idea to return in 30 minutes. Personally, I had planned to pull “S” if nothing better came along. She’d have to lose the friend though. My first pull could not be a double.

Once they left, I almost had time to order a beer when the next wave came in. These were not outstanding and I dismissed them faster that time. I got my beer and continued to be ‘tasted’ by the circling sharks, until a peaceful, English voice appeared by my side, saying something like “I’ve counted you passing on 13 so far, just what is it you’re looking for?”. This was “I”. A tica with African roots, very short afro, a conservative dress, and quite stunning. I spit out the “busco” line, to which she immediately replied “Wow …. Your Spanish really sucks!”. I was hooked.

“I” turned out to be very learned, and openly discussed the reasons for slow business, the general CR economy, problems with trade tariffs, and the like. A couple of minutes into the talk, a bull shark came up from behind with the loud “Hola Baby!” bullshit, and sat down right beside me, linked her arm through mine, and asked what my name was. I looked into “I”s face and saw her WTF expression. I turned to the bull shark, slowly unlinked my arm from hers, said “Me llamos David!”, and then turned my back to her and continued talking to “I”. After about a minute the shark took the hint and swam off.

I hung out with “I” for about an hour, and then got down to business. I will say that it was nice to have a real conversation with her, and all the way to the hotel. She was the only one of the girls I had that seemed to understand anything outside of the game. She asked for $80. I offered $70 and propina *if* she made me feel welcome in Costa Rica.

When we got to the room, we took a hot shower, and “I” gave me a really decent back massage. She actually described each muscle group as she worked. The sex was so-so, but on my part. She was skilled, but my entire day was weighing on me, and all I really wanted to do was drop the nut and go to sleep. She got me there, and was out the door to end my first day in the Gulch.

DAY 2:

Wednesday I had an appointment to meet up with BangBang57 at SL. He’s an old friend of a friend, and was going to give me the lay of the land. I got up early (I woke up every day between 4am and 5am to look at my watch … I was paranoid of oversleeping). I thought about looking for a morning session at HLH (and by 10am there were a few there) but I was afraid I’d be late for BangBang, and he doesn’t like to be kept waiting. I also had no idea what he looked like, and as I was bringing him 2 large boxes of Rice Krispies, I figured I’d just get on with the day. I stopped at the juice place for breakfast, and slogged up the ravine known as Avenida 9 to the SL. I took a seat and displayed the Rice Krispies on the table, as a beacon. BangBang was right on time.

I will say that this was one of the best days I spent in CR, and I never got laid this day. The knowledge I got out of BangBang will last me the remainder of my mongering career, and I will share it with every newbie I come across. The dude is totally cool, and as he took me into 18 separate MPs, he was known in damned-near every one of them. He has friends in every crack and furrow of the city.

He started by showing me a great place to exchange money: the Casino Colonial across the street from the DelRey. No questions, no passport. They scrutinize $50s and $100s, but I had purposely brought brand new bills with me. He suggested only doing 1 to 2 hundred at a time. As I stated earlier, I will do my conversion up front and not deal with dollars anymore.

BangBang took me through DelRey and headed down to Relax. There he introduced me to one of the most beautiful chicas I had ever seen, “S”. He also introduced me to one of his old favs, “V”. Now, “S” is a 21 year old hottie, with everything looking awesome. I wanted it right there and then, but didn’t want to be seen intruding on BangBang’s turf: he clearly had a thing going there. As for “V”, she’s a MILF-type that maintains her age well, and has a great personality. I handed out chocolates after BangBang made a joke about it. They were surprised that I would carry little presents for the chicas I met. It endeared me to them, which was my intention all along.

** RELAX: good talent when we were there. At least 3 I would do, and more in the back I didn’t meet. I returned here several times.

We hit the others along the street, and wandered down to the Mansion, and Erotica, next door. Now, BangBang is well known down there, but I could not even step into Erotica: it smelled like a clogged toilet. BangBang said he’d never noticed it before. We then hopped into the Mansion to meet another of his favs, also named “S”. This girl was smokin’ hot, but not in my book as hot as the one at Relax. She was clearly attached to BangBang, and I saw her face as he started chatting up a new arrival.

**MANSION: a couple of hotties, and the rest I’d have done on a rainy day.

As we left here, he led me so far around I was totally lost, and still haven’t found some of those places again. On my next trip I will get the intersections.
One of the most important things he did for me, was to introduce me to the heart of the city, and get me to feel at home with the people. I was buying lunch, so once he walked me all the way to the bus station (which I have no f*cking idea where it is now) he marched me back to Mercado Central, a dank, smelly indoor flea market. Deep inside are several food stations, dubbed “SODAS”. One of these has inside seating along a stretched out dining table. We sat with a tico family and their 2 K*ds. He suggested me the “Casada” menu, and I ordered the fillet. He told me this was about as close as I was likely to come to true authentic tico food. It was awesome.

**Every newbie has to man up and get to the Mercado Central to experience the environment and the food. The menus have photos (if not, you’re in the wrong place). I ate lunch here 3 times.

Once we left here, BangBang took me to so many places that they started to blur together. I recall Calle 6 well. One place was full of fatties, one place was awesome with the chicas in panties, teasing anyone who came in. In this one they also hold onto you and grope, trying to entice you. They backed down to BangBang, but I was fresh meat. On a subsequent trip there, I found the technique of multiple light slaps on their face cheek while saying “no mas” gets them to let go, without offence. Remember … the face, not the ass. You slap em on the ass you better be paying for it.

**CALLE 6: no first-timer should venture there without a wingman. It is not dangerous, but overwhelming and easily caught up in the game.

BangBang took me to a few off-map, but I honestly was on information overload. We caught a cab and headed to 360, off Paseo Colon. Super easy to find, it was one of the nicest selections of talent of any MP. I ventured there regularly.
BangBang showed me a couple more in that immediate area, but they blurred out. He then showed me the proper bus to catch to head back to the Gulch. Once back, he took me to the Night Club area, and told me not to walk anywhere near there at night. Since I could no longer record any locations, I had no idea where we were, and I never found it in subsequent wanderings.

We ended the day back at the SL, meeting several other boardmates (whom I recall real names, but no handles… pls PM me guys if we met). As we sat and chattered, I got to meet Steve from Puravida Transport, and an older guy named “D”. He had been there several times before, and had good conversation.
6pm: time for me to bail out, as I had a ‘novia’ date set up in Escazu. We arranged to meet at the Chillis in the Multiplaza. Guys, that is a mall the likes of which I have never seen to that scale. It is an awesome fashion mall. Get out there just to see it. The cab ride is 8k colones ($16).

The date ended, and as she’s not on the game, no action was expected. I returned to the HLH exhausted, and wondering how the date went from her perspective. As we were past the 6pm window on the Jewish day schedule (days start at sundown) it was considered the 4th, and my family has this really neat tradition where we fast on the 4th and 5th to remember our family members that died in the Revolutionary war. So as I had just cheated by having a light dinner, I decided to just email her and went to sleep.

DAY 3 (July 4th):

Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head … (NAME THAT TUNE!). Decided to hit some local talent at HLH before I wandered, but there was nothing to be had by 10am. So I went out, grabbed a “frutas naturales” (drinks are allowed) and headed to Relax to try on “S” for size. I reached the place far sooner than expected, and suddenly got the butterflys … “S” doesn’t speak English, and remember I hadn’t actually done any negotiations yet. Decided it best to wander down the the Mansion to collect my thoughts, and develop a game plan.

I went into Mansion looking for the other “S”, BangBang’s territorial fav. She was out, but the new one BangBang was scoping out was there, and ready for business. I pulled the trigger and went for the standard 30 minute session. (I found simple pleasure in knowing I was ‘in there’ before BangBang would be!) I cannot recall her name, but she gave no upsell BS for ‘mamada sin condon’, and flipped and spun on the snap of a finger. I enjoyed the session.

I decided it was time to return to Relax, and have seconds on “S”. Remember I told you the air is a little thinner in SJ, I stopped outside to catch my breath, as I was starting to sweat, and that is a gross thing to do when you want to nego for services. I hung around outside for a few minutes, and then went into Relax. “V” met me at the door with a great big hug, and thanks for the chocolates. She then told me “S” had just gone upstairs for an hour session. I had missed her by less than 5 minutes. I was pissed. But, never one to complain (too loudly) I decided to try out “V”, as BangBang was going on and on about her. “V” is an older chica, but she had no problems getting me off a second time within 20 minutes. The chica’s got skills. BangBang knows his putas well.

I left there with significantly less body fluid. I needed a top-off, and headed for the walkpaths at Avenida 4. I got a nice “frutas naturales” from some chain bakery, which was very good. I wandered the walkpaths around Avenida 4, Calle 2 and Avenida Central for a bit, and ended up quite by accident on Calle 6. Itching to see the panty place again I manned up and strolled into the place. I missed it by one single doorway. Yup, Bashful found the fatties place.

A monster puta approached me and attempted to bodily drag me into the main area where the sealife was gathered to feed. Now, I’ve seen enough horror movies to know full well the terrors that awaited me within the creases of her fat folds, so I dug in my heels, snapped my arm back out of her vicelike grasp, and said in the clearest English I could muster, that because of her I had just become GAY. I turned as quickly as I could and stormed to the stairwell, while wiping my hands of on my pants. I managed to get outside, but made a bit of a spectacle of myself to the locals. I was visibly shaken, and not a little bit grossed out.

I took a stroll to cross the street to try and figure out where I went wrong. I knew within one of those doorways was the promised land. At least half a dozen chicas in panties giving a see-all before you buy display. (As I now write this, I believe there is another MP behind where I was standing, across the street. I will have to check that on my next trip).

I took a deep breath and charged into the last of the doorways, hoping it was the right one. Paydirt! I was the only guy in the place, and they converged on me like white on rice. I had more mammaries in my face than a lone puppy, and my hand was invited into more soft crotches than my mind could process.

They all wanted me (of course, the money was only secondary when such a studmuffin as me was in the room). I had to make a choice, because I was seriously worried that If I dawdled I could get myself raped and have them all demanding propina. I pulled myself free, clapped my hands and made them line up. I then did the hot potato/cold potato game on their breasts, and as I excluded one, I pushed her back. They thought it was funny as hell, and there were no hard feelings when I was left with one. I went into the back with her and rather than the whole massage nonsense she just started dancing and gyrating and allowing me to feel up wherever I had the inclination to touch her. Once we got down to business, it was good enough, but nothing to write home about. An interesting sidenote was after the deed be done and she got back into her panties, there was another feel up session, as if I had to be reminded of where I had just been. Still, I like touching chicas in personal places, so it was fun all round.

2pm. As I started walking back towards my hotel, it started to rain. I wish someone had told me it rained in Costa Rica  I had an umbrella, but I ended up totally lost, and wandering in circles. You see, some streets have street signs on the wall at intersections, but most don’t. Sometimes you walk 4 blocks and then realize you’re on the even or odd side of the grid, and you try turning down a side street to compensate. I walked past Mercado Central at least 4 times, trying to figure out how to get to the odd/odd square. It took me 2 hours to get back to HLH.

4pm. I’m wet and I smell badly. I mean worse than usual (shut up, Matt!). I go up to change and check my email. A client needs me to fix a major issue, so I do it and charge them enough to pay for a return trip to CR.

7pm: time to head to SL for El Ciego’s Birthday Bash. Second newbie blunder: I am not interested in a hookup, so I only take $100 in Colones for my own drinks. That was almost a disaster!

As I arrive at SL, the smoking group is in full force at the gate. I hang outside for a bit getting the feel for what a party at SL is like. Remember, I’m new here. Once inside I notice most guys are paired up. I don’t know if they brought em, or if this is their choice for the night, or what. All I know is I am damned near the only guy solo in the place, and it feels weird.

Lucky for me I spot BNE at a table with another guy. They are both hooked up, and I hang with them for a bit, as they explain the operations of the party. Seems you spot a chica, motion to her, if there’s an interest, buy her a drink and she’ll stay by your side. The guys don’t seem to feel this concludes a contract for the night, but I am sure the girls feel differently. Since I’ve been laid three times already, I’m not interested in hooking up, but I feel damned embarrassed standing solo.

I see old man “D” chatting to another guy (both chica-less) so I start talking to em. “D” is fed up with the talent pool and ready to go home early. I tell him to give it time, the room’s not full yet. I wander around the bar rooms looking for some guys to talk to, and checking out the single talent. Nothing inspires me … I mean nadda. I’m not horny, and hanging with a hooker when I’m not interested in her body is not a way to spend an evening for me. I’m feeling out of place again, and I finally order a drink to loosen me up. I hang near BNE’s table for a bit, which is crowded against the bar area with all bar seats full.

8:30pm. Suddenly, something touches my arm. It is a hand attached to an arm attached to a little spinner body belonging to a total cutie, sitting against the bar, wedged between the DJ, some big old guy, and blocked from view by BNE’s table. She’s the hottest thing in the room, and sitting totally alone, and without a drink. No one knows she’s even there. Willy announces that he’s up for a 4th round with this one, so I don’t skip a beat, step up, introduce myself, and wonder if it’s too good to be true. DAMN! Her name’s the same as my ex. I ask her if she’s got another. She provides, “N”. Phew! Crises averted.

I buy her a drink and we start to chat. Decent English on this one. She tells me she’s 22, and by the face and body I could believe it. She’s using Russian names, and I can see the European in her features. Suddenly I see El Ciego heading out the entrance to the smoking area. I have yet to see him all trip, so I grab “N” and head after him.

Hard to get a blind man’s attention without physically accosting him, so I just stand behind him and wait for a lull in chatter. It never comes. So I man up, and bellow out “EL CIEGO!” … He stops and asks who I am. We chatter and he introduces me to his lady friend.

This chica is socialite material. Seriously, a cut above everything in the room. The stature, the way she carried herself, back straight, head high, no quick head jerks, a believeable smile. She was an excellent compliment to his dinner jacket. Of every couple in the room, they were the only ones that LOOKED like a couple.
“N” is a smoker so we hang outside for a bit before rejoining the party inside. My focus is now solely on “N”, as I start the imaginings of her in my bed. She drinks fast, and I tell her she gets whatever she wants. She smiles and tells me she will take care of me after the party. She has the softest, silkiest hair I have ever seen, and I was just petting it, and running my hand through it and then gently down her back. More than once she would shudder and show me her arm, covered with goose pimples. This is a sure sign of chemistry.

I see old man “D” looking really letdown. He tells me he’s just going to pack and prepare to leave in the morning. I suggest he take a taxi to DR, and bring something back to the party.

“N” knows all the bartenders very well. This tells me she’s a regular, and must be older than 22. Not that I care. Looking the way she does she could be 50 and I’d be happy. One of the bartenders is her best friend, and “N” asks me to buy them a shot. I’m fine. At this, little Rebecca, the cutie waitress hears this and starts hopping up and down gesturing that she’d like one too. Sure. I end up hosting a shot round for all of them, and the total cost for that round empties every last Colon I had brought with me. PHUCK! Here I am with the hottest ass in the room, and I’m dead broke! I’ve got lots of cash at my hotel, but not at this one. BNE leans in to comment on “N”, and I tell him my predicament. He seems to find it quite funny. I’m wondering how fast I can get out, get a cab, get to HLH, my room, the safe, and back to SL before I lose out on “N”. I’m not happy now.

10pm. “N” wants to step outside to smoke again. I go, and she starts gently stroking me as she nonchalantly stands against me. She says “ I’m happy. Now you turn”. I ask if she’d like another drink before we go (figuring I could slip out for a cash run) but she says she’s ready now if I am. I ask about TLN, as I know this will be my last of the evening, if even possible. Remember, I am not eating any food, I’ve been up since dawn, been laid thrice, and been drinking whisky.

“N” says no to TLN, as she has 2 K*ds. (Ok, she’s definitely not 22!) Asks cien. I state I never pay cien, but will propina if she makes me happy. She says she “promises you be happy”. I tell her I am drinking whisky on empty stomach and I have gone 3 times already. Tell her not to expect too much. She smiles and says “no problem”. We go back to HLH.

“N” was awesome to me. Real good skills and seemed to care. At one point in cowgirl she tells me to watch her face as she gets herself off riding me. Maybe it’s a fake, but wasn’t necessary so I feel it’s real. She goes limp afterwards and cuddles. I’m enjoying the action, but all negatives weigh against me for getting off. I explain this to “N”. Not her fault, I am overworked and, basically, weak. We go doggy a bit until I know I’ve had enough. I tell her it’s ok. Willy’s enjoyed his short visit to her cervix.

“N” reaches back and starts hand pumping him back up, then douses him in astroglide, looks at me, smiles and says “you want me culo?”. DAMN! Realize guys, I didn’t ask for this. I’m not paying for this. There’s no upcharge. This girl wants to get me off no matter what it takes. Culo, Gratis!!!
I will say, there is no better feeling then when your girl digs her hands into the mattress while gritting her teeth and groaning aloud as she accepts your entry. Phuckin AWESOME! #4 was dutifully delivered.

11pm. I’m headed back to SL for the party. I’m high on life right now. “N” is headed to meet a friend, so we taxi-pool. I get to SL and start hunting up some guys I know. I see old man “D” in the back area, and he’s changed his shirt. DAMN! I think he’s packed already. Then he sees me and displays a pure shit-eating grin. I walk up and grin, saying “No way!” … he laughs and tells me he hooked up at DR like I suggested. We high-five and have a good laugh. BEST NIGHT EVER.
11:30pm. “N” walks back into SL. She comes right up to me and hugs. I tell her I buy her whatever she wants, but if she needs to work, I will leave her alone. She puts both paws on my chest and says “ I done. I want to be at party”. We sit on the couch and exchange contact info. She shows me photos of her K*ds, and we talk and cuddle for a bit. She asks for one more shot, and she wants to dance for me. I’m tellin ya every eye was locked on her as she did the wiggle. I’d have been turned on if I hadn’t been so worn out.

12am. “N” bails out. Long kiss goodnight. I’m about done too, but I need to say goodnight to El Ciego, who’s sitting in the back. Had to stand at end of the bar in doorway between front bar and back bar, waiting to get over to him. Cute chica standing there, but I’m ignoring her and focusing on him. She asks if he is a friend. I say yes. She chuckles and says he is here all the time, and he is crazy (as in fun crazy). She asks my name, and says she is “K”.

“K” is a hot little tica. 23. Face seems a 7, but when she smiles, her eyes twinkle and she’s a 10 to me. She has a small diamond piercing above her top lip which glistens when she smiles. It’s very sore, so she tells me there’s things she can’t do, including mamada. Let down! Still, she’s awesome to look at, and I’m still waiting to get to El Ciego.

“K” asks where I’m staying. I tell her HLH and I see an immediate ‘yuck’ reaction in her eyes. I enquire. She doesn’t like the place. I say, ok, if you don’t like my hotel, I understand. She quickly corrects … it’s the girls … “K” feels they are ‘lazy’. I’m not in the mood to challenge a hooker’s opinion of other hookers, so I change the subject. We talk about the Tranny problem in the area. She laughs and says some are very pretty looking. I tell her my biggest fear is to get a pretty girl and discover a lump down there. She laughs, takes my hand and places it right between her legs. Says “no fear here baby!”.

Damn! I’m now rubbing her personal real estate, and have to have it. El Ciego be damned, I want this puta badly. We have a couple of drinks and head back to HLH. One image that will live in my mind forever, is seeing little Rebecca walk past, see me, do a double take and see the look of surprise in her face as she sees me pulling another chica from the party. PRICELESS!

I explained to “K” my current situation. I said I was not looking to get off, I just wanted to explore every inch of her body. As I hit the shower to rinse off (a courtesy I believe sends the right message to the girls) I turn and look OUT from the shower window into the room. “K” is on my bed with 2 fingers in herself giving me the show of what is to come.

Now, nothing beats the service that “N” gave me, and she remains the best lay of the trip. But “K” went all out to please me, and did indeed get #5 delivered. That shot was a real mistake, because it was extremely painful and I knew I had gone too far. I lay with “K” for a bit waiting for the cramping to die down. She didn’t know about this, she just wanted a short cuddle before she left. I didn’t walk her down. I was way too sore.
JULY 4th - BEST VACATION EVER!!!

DAY 4:

Still not eating until 6pm, slightly hung over, and in no way wanting to phuck, I was supposed to meet Mattyice at HLH bar at 11am. He was on time and we chattered a bit. I got the sense that he knows the close MPs, but hadn’t been to Calle 6 or 360 yet.
We go walking about the main city area looking for lunch. All tourist places charge outrageous, so I talk him into heading to Mercado Central for a casada. Food was good as always, and I think he enjoyed it.

We go for a stroll to pack down the food. We end up on Calle 6 so I show him the panty place. I warn him off the fatty place but we popped into one of the others there, but I saw nothing of interest.

We get a bit lost, and go off the map. Since I don’t like turning around on a street (dead giveaway for a lost gringo) I insist we go around the block in a long U-turn. As we turn the corner on Calle 10 there is a dead body prostrate across the entire sidewalk, spread arms, in full sunlight. (I’m not sure if it’s dead or not, but that’s the visual impression you get). Mattyice gasps and stops dead. I can see his mind working. If this is the entrance to the street, what the f*ck awaits further down. He has begun to question why he is following the directions of someone who calls himself “Bashful Dwarf” anywayz. I push him forward and together we make it to the next corner and turn back towards the central area.

2pm. We head back to Calle 11 to Relax. I tell him I’m hunting “S”, and as now I need her badly. We get there and “V” greets us at the door. “S” is sitting there in her usual spot, panties and a bra. I’m hard as a rock and she knows through “V” that I wanted her yesterday.

Mattyice however isn’t thrilled by the leftovers. I figure I’d walk him to the others and then return to “S”. He finds nothing at Eros, so we pop into Idem for a drink. My mouth is dry after lunch (and because I wasn’t supposed to eat until 6pm, I feel exceptionally heavy). He likes nothing there.

We walk to Erotica and Mansion. Nope. He’s a picky bastard. Now I’m a little concerned on time, so we agree to hail a cab and head out to 360. I know he’ll find something there, and I may as well (though I’m desperate for “S”).

3pm. Long taxi ride due to traffic. We get to the Taco Bell marker, and walk down to 360. By the time we get there, I am parched again, and the mints I use are starting to sour my mouth. We get into 360 and I see at least 4 that I would do right then and there. Mattyice spots an old fav.

I check my watch and realize I have no time to get a cab back to “S”. I know her hours from BangBang, and all I could expect is a rush service. I decide to reserve her for tomorrow, and tell Mattyice I have to bail to get a drink to wash my mouth out. I’m good from yesterday, so I agree to meet him back at the Taco Bell.
5pm. We catch the bus back to “Segundo Cementario”. From there, we are back on the map and can easily find our way back to HLH. Now, I understood the El Ciego’s after-party was to be held in the penthouse at SL that evening, but I wasn’t sure it was still on. I go upstairs to freshen up and we walk to SL to check the story. The party is on at 9pm. Matty and I decide to eat at SL, and I have the chicken soup and Caesar salad. The salad was ok, but the soupd was one of the best I have had.

6pm. We walk to Morazan so Mattyice can freshen up, and I meet Ricky Ricardo who sets me up with the Poas Tour for Sunday. I figure since Sunday is a slow day for mongering, I’d burn it on sightseeing. Mattyice returns and we hit HLH to see any last minute talent and have a couple of beers. This is when I finally catch a glimpse of the famous Karen. She’s in street clothes as its end of shift, but I can see her beauty easy enough. She has put on some weight since the photos I had seen, but I’d do her in a second.

7pm. Since most talent has departed, Mattyice and I agree to hit DR, to watch the show. We agree to deflect all comers, and remain unattached until the party. (This turned out to be another newbie blunder, as I should have brought as many with me as possible for the party.)

Mattyice heads to Blue Marlin, and as expected we are struck by a pair instantly. We drop the cover story (waiting on friends, leave us alone until they get here). They ask to buy them drinks. Matty looks tough on this, but I am evolving a thought on the topic. I ask what they want. Imperials. Heck, that’s cheap. But I charge a kiss for a drink. Both comply. I tell them to take the drinks and go away until our friends arrive (which will never happen).

Mattyice and I sit in the lobby area watching all the talent circle. No one approaches as its obvious we are not interested. Matty sees an old session, and goes to greet. A cute nica sets in on me, and sits in Matty’s chair. I give the story, and offer to buy a drink. She say yes and I state the terms. Nice kiss but DAMN! Her lipgloss tastes like 40 weight motor oil. I better rethink that strategy.

I get her drink and when I return, Matty is back at the table and she is parked comfortably next to me. No issues, she know we are leaving to a party soon, but she rubs my shoulders and back for a good 15 minutes while she sips her drink and Matty and I chatter. It was a relaxing massage and I should have gotten her contact info. Another newbie mistake. Get info if you want to session it later.

9pm. Matty has made a session date for 10, which means he’ll not be doing the party with me. No issues, we walk back to SL to check out the talent pool and party arrangements. They seem to be lagging on the party a bit, and at 9:30 Matty decided to bail to meet his hookup. It’s dark now, and I decide to walk with him to DR. It’s safe enough in pairs, and I could get a feel for the area at night. Yes, cabs are cheap enough, but I refuse to feel a f*cking coward all of the time. The walk from SL to DR is less than 5 minutes. We arrive unmolested, and we farewell at the corner.

I decide to retrace my steps back to SL. I’m not drunk, so I feel confident enough to handle myself. Along the side building used to skirt Parque Espana there is cop activity. They are harassing someone, so I make a split-second, brilliant decision to ignore every piece of advice I’d ever been given about night travels in CR: I cut through the park to avoid the cops.

Honestly, the first half distance was no issue at all. I got to the center of the park without seeing anything but shadows. But as I crossed the central axis heading out the northeastern most paths, a shadow appeared in the way. It had big tits, a hopping ass, long dark hair, and linebacker shoulders. I cannot tell if it is interested in me, or if it is interested in me being interested in it. I stop dead to assess my options. I know there are other shadows moving in around me, cutting off the other exit paths. I can’t be sure, but I am probably being approached from behind as well. I figure the best exit would be through the linebacker, but I’m going to need a play for this one.

I have been in similar situations before, and know that fortune favors the bold. I begin forward and hold up my arms in the universal “WTF?” gesture. It tries to show off its wares. I quicken the pace on a collision course with it. I drop my arms. I ball up my right fist and lift it up. I start slapping the right fist with the left hand and accelerate, cutting short its preparation time. I’m about to break into a run, and C*ck the arm back as if to either throw a fastball, or plow it through the skull of the thing standing in my way. It gets the message and starts chattering Spanish as it stumbles backwards in high-heels.

So far so good, but I’d have preferred if it moved off to a side, rather than escort me backwards out of the park, squawking like a chicken. You see, my plan got me out of the park, but brought the cops straight down on me.

Ok. Bursts of Spanish, the word ‘passport’ and more Spanish. I produce the copy I carry, while the linebacker is crying out its story. Lucky for me the head cop isn’t interested and barks at it to shut up, which it does. Why do I have this copy? Where is my passport? I try to explain through baby English and a version of charades that it is in my hotel, in a safe, in case I get attacked by boys in dresses late at night in a park. I assume he doesn’t like my narrative because he points for me to walk west, towards the open back door of their car.

I decide to play the uninformed tourist. As I walk up to the car, rather than walk around the open door, I put my hands on the door window and gently push it out of the cop’s hand and close it. Then before they can process what I just did, I spin around and lean upon the closed door, and fold my hands in front of me (not crossed on my chest which sends a different message). This way, if they want me in the car they’ll have to bodily drag me off the car and open the door again. Lucky for me this isn’t their interest. The head cop starts bitching at the linebacker, and then dismisses it and rounds on me.

Spanish, and gestures to empty my pockets. I comply. All I have is a wad of Colones, about $120 worth. Why so much? I explain I am going to a party. Seems good enough. I get my money back. Some more Spanish. I get the idea they think I am looking for drugs to buy. I charade No, I want to DRINK. They seem to get it, but don’t seem in too much of a hurry to let me go.

After a few minutes, I start squawking myself. I say “Bill at *********s” is waiting for me … I tap my watch. “Party! … Por Favor … Bill at *********’s! …”. They get the idea. I get handed my passport copy back, and some very stern Spanish. “Si” … many “Si” … whatever you say, Officer. And then I’m on my way again.

**NEWBIES: when these guys on the board tell you to stay out of the parks at night, just ignore them. They are worrywarts. Listen to ol’ Bashful: he’s got yer back. “STAY OUT OF THE PHUCKING PARKS AT NIGHT!”. ‘nuff said.

I finally get back to *********’s, and up to the penthouse for El Ciego’s party. Since I’m the ‘new guy’, I get the privilege of making the drinks for the girls. Now, “What happens in Costa Rica, stays in Costa Rica”. All I can say about the 3 hours party is … “GODDAMN!”. If you weren’t there, then you have no idea what Costa Rica really has to offer. Next time you’re in town with El Ciego, get up with the party!

At the party there were a specific two chicas ( a pair) that spoke no English, but asked “DR” if ol’ Bashful wanted a lesbian show. Hey! I’m down with that, but not until this party is over. I am sitting on the couch between the chicas, being made very comfortable.

The first one I forget her name, I’ll title her “B”. The other, younger is “M”. I’m into “M”, but El Ciego, Dr Mario and others tell me “B” is a freak. However, I’m not into “B”’s face, and for me, a face is important. “B” has a smoking tight body. “M” has a youngest face, a bit pouty, and a thick figure. Nice thick. She likes to grind, and while we were sitting together, it was compulsory that my fingers maintain a certain pressure on her happy buzzer. Not easy through jeans, but they came off soon enough.

2am. Once the party came to closure, I decided to pull “M”. Big newbie mistake. “B” would have performed. “M” barely knew how to have sex at all. Total mechanical, not too hard, kept saying shit like “Sucky Sucky” like some stereotypical Thailand hooker. She was, however, tight. That gave me a measure of control. When she started the “gimme leche baby” bullshit, I just knocked it hard to get her attention, and then finger to my lips in a universal “STFU!” gesture. The session was the worst of the trip, except for two things: even bad sex is sex, and it was freakin 3 in the morning.

3:30. I boot “M” out of the room, crying because I didn’t give propina. Tough shit. I boot up the laptop to check emails. My ‘novia’ date emailed back that she’s free Sunday. SHIT! I booked the damned tour Sunday. I check the paperwork. It’s back by 5pm. I email her I’ll see her at 6:30 (thinking I am adjusting for Tico-Time). Then I crash out knowing I’ll be waking up at 5am to look at the damned clock.

DAY 5:

I get up and check email again. A business contract is in the bag. This is going to be a good day. My last official ‘monger’ day, as Sunday will be an all-day tour, and evening will be a ‘novia’ date that will prolly not have a bedtime ending.

I get set for an outing, scan the local HLH talent, but its nadda at 9:30am. My plan is set: *********’s for breakfast, Casino Colonial for currency exchange, and Relax to park myself on top of “S” for the entire day.

I didn’t know *********’s had a breakfast menu, but learned of it the day before. They have an item called “Tico Breakfast”, so I get that. A simple deal: 2 eggs, rice/beans mix, some slab of tasty dried stuff. A good start. I hit the casino and get some Colones in my pocket and start out to see “S”.

When I reach Relax I don’t even hesitate, I walk straight in expecting “V” to greet me, and “S” to be sitting in her usual. Neither greets me. A puta comes up and replies to me that “S” doesn’t work weekends! PHUCK! I am pissed. I step outside and throw what can only be called a juvenile temper-tantrum. 5 minutes I waste banging around and kicking stuff. I really wanted “S”, and now I won’t see her the rest of the trip, and I don’t even have a photo of her to remember. This is a mega bummer.

I don’t have anything else on the plan. I had bet the farm on “S” being the highlight of my vacation. And now I’m crashed. I walk back in to see what is available in Relax. I pull a 30 minute session, but I don’t even remember if I cared about it. I didn’t bother to record the name, or even get a photo.
I leave here and do the standard rounds, looking for a chica better looking than the one I just pulled out of. I run the gambit and see nothing. I toy with the thought of going to Calle 6, but decide to return to 360 instead. I know beyond doubt I’ll find something there.

Once I get there I see a tall chica in black stockings and panties. (Do you see a pattern emerging? Bashful’s weak for puta in panties!) I go for an hour session, as I really want to chill and play for a while. I feel a bit rushed, but I’m not letting it affect me. She seems to get a bit bored with my wanting to play, but again I’m not interested in her opinions. I ask her “culo?” and get a resounding NO! Fine, bang goes your tip babe! I hump the bunny and shower her off of me. Then I decide to hit Mercado Central for a final lunch.

I head back to HLH, after doing a bunch of tourist souvenir shopping. As I go upstairs to my room, I see BNE and another guy “L” sitting in the public area outside of my room. DAMN! Small world. I sit and talk smack with them for a bit. When BNE learns that 25 is my room, he laughs. It’s the only room he’s ever been in at HLH, for years. He has been describing to “L” the window in the shower, so I oblige and leave the door open so we can use the bathroom while we chatter.
“L” heads downstairs to call a FAV over, and I get BNE and myself a drink. I tell BNE that I charge a kiss for a drink, but all he offers is a tight smack on the ass. “L” brings his fav up to sit with us, and I immediately feel it is a mistake to do so. She is hot, but speaks no English. “L” and I speak no Spanish. If she sits with us for long she’ll get dead bored and his session’s gunna suck. Lucky for “L” BNE wants to work his Spanish, so we have a good hour of BS back and forth.

While we’re there, Steve from Puravida comes up to check his room for the night. He stops to chatter, but BNE’s Spanish is so loud it echoes off the walls. I want to talk to Steve about rental places and such, so he offers me to walk down the street with him to buy tickets. Now, a warning about Steve: when he says ‘down the street’ he really means the other side of the phucking city! In the rain! Or sure, he had an umbrella. I had no idea I was going on a major trek, so I didn’t even bring a hat. I don’t get back to HLH for over an hour.

When I get there, get upstairs, dry off and change, I find BNE and “L” having a late lunch at the bar. I get my second view of Karen, as she’s leaving for the day. She’s a beauty. I know “L” is headed for a session, so I ask BNE what his plans are. He says he’s headed to SL, so I ask if I have time to order food here, or whether he’s leaving now and I’ll eat at SL. He offers me his half of meatball sandwich. Says he’s not going to eat it, so I split the bill with him and we set off up the cliff to SL, in the drizzle.

Once there, we settle at the bar, and I see “K” across from me. She doesn’t have a drink, but I’m not feeling like a phuck, as I’ve gone twice already. I motion her over and introduce her to BNE (newbie mistake: I called mer “M” by mistake, she corrected me). Small world! BNE knows her, her sister, and her mother. BNE has been attached to her sister for years. “K” calls sister on phone and BNE has good chatter. Eventually BNE sets a date with the sister in the morning, and announces that he is good for the night.

Now, when “K” was with me on the 4th, I saw she was coming down with a cold. I see now it is full force. She can barely talk. I tell her she should be home, but she says she’s fine. I feel sorry for her (newbie mistake). I tell her I will buy her drinks as she works. I tell her to see me if she needs anything. She goes back to her friend. I see guys come up to her, but she seems to dismiss them after a while.

As I’m chatting to Bernie and suddenly the same chica with the talons that butchered BNE 3 days ago walks in and sets upon him again. This time I know my duty, and I keep BNE focused on me and the conversation. I make eye contact with the puta just enough to let her know that we’re in guy talk, and she can just wait.

(adding missing content)
7pm. The waitress pushes past with a bowl of chicken soup. I decide to have one, and a bright thought occurs. I go over and ask “K” if she’d like a bowl for her throat. See, I’m not thinking of pulling her tonight, but I like her, she was a real good lay the other day, and here she is feeling under the weather. This whole compassion thing is not without its punishment, as you will hear in a moment.
I go back to BNE, who is starting to glaze over. I continue to keep an eye on Karla, and eventually Dice from HLH shows up and joins BNE and me. After about an hour, BNE asks me if I plan on pulling “K”. I say no, even though I am still toying with the idea. The problem is, I have traded feelings of passion for compassion regarding “K”, due to her sickness. I did not realize this at the time. Shit was about to go really bad for me, and I had no clue about it.
8pm. BNE excuses himself, as his room is across the bar, behind where “K” is sitting. Dice and I continue to chatter, and I see “K” eating her soup. Next time I glance at her, BNE is sitting at her table firmly chatting her up. Now, this is cool, after all its just business. He wants to tag the little sister of an old novia. I get it, and admit I’d do the same. But it irked me, just a bit.
See, I was absolutely confident that I could walk right over there, collect “K” and walk straight out without so much as a by-your-leave. Problem was, I didn’t really want to. I knew BNE would not have an issue, as I had told him I was not interested, and though I wasn’t, I hate being beaten out of anything. That male competitive thing. However, as Dice continued to talk to me, my mind was a whirl. I finally settled it as being the nature of the game. I wasn’t interested in having “K” tonight, so let BNE have her. I had just decided to let it rest with a parting thought: I guess I’ve lost “K” for the night.
HOLY SHIT! My mind exploded with the sense of loss! See, I am just off a divorce, and in late January I was in this same spot. The sense of loss … my wife left … I have nothing … I am alone! That shit flooded back with such force that I was overwhelmed! I could not think, could not breathe, I couldn’t even hear. I looked at Dice and saw his mouth moving, but I could not hear anything but my own heart, beating in my ears. I could not figure out why I was thinking of this shit … it was settled. My ex and I are split and both happier for it. We are friends. I don’t miss the relationship (other than basic need for companionship) and to now be run over with these feelings … I was simply at a loss to understand. I had to get out of this place, and fast. I was worried I might actually crack, or worse, break down. It was that powerful. I said goodbye to Dice (rather shortly) and headed straight out the exit. I could not even look at BNE and “K”. I made it back to my hotel, and totally lost it for a while. The vacation was done; brought down by my own inability to separate fact and fantasy. I was miserable, and hated myself for it.
(add complete)

DAY 6:

My last real vacation day, and I hadn’t slept a wink. I had worked out quite a bit from the meltdown the previous night. I felt I had a basic understanding of what happened, but wasn’t sure where that left me. AT 6am I went outside to wait for my tour bus. I was not looking forward to it, especially as I had just lost my last chance to get laid.

Remember, I have a ‘novia’ date set up for that night, and I had damned little hope of anything more than a good night’s kiss. This date was part of a long-game strategy. I really like this chica, and would like to see if it can go the distance. I’m not willing to ruin it by a hurried attitude.

I won’t waste my time about the tour. I do suggest a tour for the newbies, to see some of what CR has to offer in terms of a real vacation spot. There were two Mexican chicas on the tour, and I was so out of sorts I didn’t even bother to make an introduction. My sights were set on the date at 6:30. Of course, nothing works out that well for me, and the damned tour was running on tico-time, meaning I didn’t get back to my hotel until 6:35pm.

I just had time to take a 2 minute shower, and a 1 minute shave when the cell phone rang. It was her, and she was just a little pissed. English is harder on the phone than in person. Hers is very good, but it wasn’t easy for me to convince her to wait. How long she asks. I beg 20 minutes, knowing the last time it took me 10 to get a cab and 15 to get there.

I bolted outside and grabbed a taxi within seconds. I jumped into the back and said “Escazu, Multiplaza … Fast, fast, FAST!”. He looked back at me. “Fast?”. Yes, very. “You tipping?”. Yes! Fast! The guy had me there in under 7 minutes. He was on the horn the entire way and blew every ALTO and red light on the way.
Now, I had it in the back of my mind that if the date went quickly enough I might still get back to the DR and salvage the vacation, if I could find any leftovers worth admitting to. So we had a great time, and it was apparent that she had to pick up her K*D from the babysitter. I paid the restaurant bill, and it happened to consume every last Colon in my pocket. (newbie mistake revisited). Now, learning from my past mistake, I was carrying Dollars as well, but 2 $50 bills wasn’t the best idea either. (Now you get the idea of converting everything at once).

As we were saying goodnight, she asked me if I was willing to pay her babysitter. I had no issue at all, but as said, all I had were 2 $50 bills. I explained this to her, pushed a $50 into her hand, said it’s the smallest I got, and kissed her good night. I have since been told by many ticos that it is expected by a tica to pay her costs for making the date, including her taxi costs and babysitting charges. Sounds reasonable, I had never really thought about it before.

I jumped into a taxi and told him to take me to SL. My plan was simple: convert the last $50, check out the talent, and if lacking, taxi to DR and find anything short of the hotel laundry lady. As I walked into SL, it was very dead, except for a lone chica sitting in the far back table, being chatted up by a drunk gringo. It was “K”.

She saw me. I turned to get the bill exchanged. “K” dismissed the guy and came straight up to me. She asked why I left last night. She wouldn’t understand the truth. I told her I got jealous of her and BNE, and it embarrassed me so I had to leave.

“K” told me she expected to be with me last night, and it had hurt her when I simply walked out. (I’m still not sure about the ‘hurt hooker feelings’ stuff.) She gave me a big hug and a kiss (and of course she’s still sick – which I brought back to the states with me). I sent her to sit down and paid the taxi. We sat and talked for a couple of hours about … probably nothing at all. In the end, I asked her to spend the night with me, and she seemed to expect it, with an “Of course!”.
It was a long session. I am pretty sure we tried out every position we collectively knew about. There was also a little more tenderness than should be allowed in such a situation, but … what the hell! When we finally fell asleep, the status of “Best Vacation Ever” had been reinstated.

DAY 7:

My last day was short. I saw “K” off in a taxi, meet Dice downstairs to print out my Boarding Pass. I walked to SL at 9am to have a last Tico Breakfast, and I bumped into BNE as he was waiting for his ride to the airport. I told him about Saturday, and he laughed at me, and rightly so. I got a chance to say farewell to El Ciego and several of the other guys I had met on the trip. I went back to HLH at 10am, hoping/praying that some talent would be there early. No such luck. I sat and chatted to Dice until Sid showed up to take me to the airport. And then I went home.

This really was the best vacation I have ever taken, solo or family. I would urge anyone looking for a change to invest a week into CR, and see what it has to offer. It might not change things at home, but it might give you the space and time to catch your breath before you have to return. It did for me.

pvdr
08-04-2013, 11:08 AM
Name that tune. A day in the life , I believe. Great trip report!