View Full Version : United CEO gets Cement Shoes and a Golden Parachute

09-08-2015, 09:22 PM
OK... Yo... You know what I'm sayin'? Smilin' Jeff Smisek got the axe today, yo? The bosses wasn't too happy wid 'im and stuff, so they had to take care of bidness, yo?


So... anyway, the CEO of "UNITED" Airlines...

You know, that airline with major hubs in New York City, Washington D.C., AND Chicago...

Well... the CEO just got axed for alleged political retaliation and providing corporate favors to the Chairman of the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey.

Say it Ain't So!

But... Not to Worry! All is Well! Smisek will be replaced by... Fuckin' Get a Load of THIS!... The former head of the CSX Railroad Corporation.

Did I forget to mention that Smisek is getting a $4.8 Million "separation payment?"

If I had just made this story up, I couldn't have made up a story that good!


The good news is that United knew this was coming. In fact, all of this is the result of an "Internal Investigation" at United airlines, in response to pressure and investigation by the FBI and the U.S. Attorney's Office. So, this should be a seamless transition for United's customers, passengers, and employees.

And when did "United" Airlines choose to make this announcement? On the Day After Labor Day!!! You really can't make this shit up!!!